Awww Thanks! Grrrrrr :(

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In the process of moving back home to Houston, Tx. For the next couple of weeks I will be completing the end of my personal training with my clients. As you all may already know, I am governing my diet like a nazi in hopes to learn and prepare myself to step on stage and compete by the end of the year. One of my favorite clients walks in today with this gift……fresh homemade double chocolate chip cookies…….fresh out the oven! AHHHHHH! I didn’t want to be an ungrateful prick, plus who in the world turns down homemade double chocolate chips cookies? I must approach this wisely and conquer this mountain of chocolate 1-2 cookies at a time, would be the perfect pre and post workout snack! Needless to say I couldn’t resist and ate 3 of them on the spot….Ffffffaaaa##! Extra mile of cardio for me today.

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My quest to be my best!

Being in shape, and looking good always has been a priority in my life. So much of a priority I consider it to be the main trait that defies my existence. It was because of this choice I molded myself to have opportunities to play athletics at a high level and continue to play at the age of 32, even now, my aging bang up knees won’t hold me back to remaining as active as I want and need to be.

Being diagnosed with depression the sweat, the burn, the high heart rates, the pump, the adrenalin rush, the endorphin high, and exhaustion has medicated me. My body and mind cries for it everyday, I may have a serious complex evolving here but if wanting to be mentally balanced, fit and healthy and doing it the right way through exercise and nutrition is crazy, then I’m willing to stand in my own bubble all by myself. Who would have think that after watching Hulk Hogan for the first time as a 7-year-old kid, would spark the flame to buying my first set of hulkamania weight lifting set, play basketball with the passion of Michael Jordan, to helping others through my passion in personal training, to wanting to hit the big stage as a physique or bodybuilding competitor.

My quest to be the leanest I’ve ever been has started, I have been experimenting with my body with different approaches to nutrition that forces me to break the rules a bit but over all a healthy approach. I am 4 months in with ways to go but the progress is noticeable. To finish and complete my quest is to grace my presence on stage and compete with other physique competitors. So allow me to run you all up to speed.

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This was an awkward stage, where I seemed to let myself go, gained too much fat according to my standards and reputation, was so self conscious of my body I wore 2 sizes bigger to mask the papa belly. If it wasn’t for my son and loving wife the sadness and grief would of been evident to see in this photo.

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Worst I ever looked, felt bad, looked awful and sick because I was awful and sick. Stop taking my meds and went on a long vacation from the gym, my depression was at a all time high. Major events were happening all around me and coping with them was more than challenging, it was impossible, but I made the choice I made thousands of times in my life, to get back on my feet, bury my demonds, and march forward with strength and faith.

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Back in the gym, putting all my bottled up anger on heavy lifting, got my weight all the way up to 187 lbs heaviest I ever been, managed to gain almost 20 lbs of muscle through heavy training and heavy caloric intakes. Yes I ate carbs and I enjoyed every bit of it, which is why I am smiling so big my ears are getting wet.

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Another awkward stage where dieting started, and looking in the mirror was depressing because the final stage wouldn’t come fast enough. Tweaking my diet and mentally preparing myself for the grueling journey ahead, yet hopeful and determined.

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By far not even close to where I want to be but amazed by the changes in just 4 weeks of hard work and nutritional dedication. Although I’m smiling in this one, that night I caved in and inhaled a 18 inch cheese pizza, 12 buffalo wings, and 20oz soda all to my self!

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Felt the guilt of caving in for the next 3 days, notice the bloat ness of my face. Too much fat, too much sodium, too much carb, threw away a weeks worth of hard work, I again made the same decision, convinced myself I deserved and earned that day, now time to march forward with strength and faith.

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My current status! Very proud of myself, still have cave ins, but I am getting mentally stronger everyday, tightening up the diet a bit closer to the neck, with the goal of 6-8 weeks to be at the end.

I can say up to this point this lifestyle is not a favorable one, you must have support from your household when you refuse to have foods that were once shared through love and enjoyment, schedule my workouts so it does not interfere with my job as a father and loving husband. Also had to fight and cry through mental break downs. You want to look like those guys and gals in the magazine??? You have no idea what you are getting you self into, this sucks, but conquering a challenge is always worth celebrating. Stay tuned for updates! Till next time